‘I Only Want to Date Men Who’ve Been Through Therapy!’

Be a “researcher” in relationships.

when presented with a challenging or boring moment, try deliberately adopting an attitude of curiosity, in which your goal isn’t to achieve any particular outcome, or successfully explain your position, but, as Hobson puts it, “to figure out who this human being is that we’re with.”

“There’s the way it was supposed to go, and the way it really goes,” he said. “You have to keep on challenging yourself. Your way of doing things so far has led you to where you are today. You have to go through a process to have the potential to meet someone you like. It’s up to you whether you choose to go through that process.”

when maybe it would be nice if it went both ways, you know?” As Dr. Broder explained, too often in dating we expect to be given a lot of things from men—constant compliments, vacations, meals, 24/7 emotional support, romantic gestures—and those men who don’t meet our standards in any of these departments get the boot, unnecessarily. One woman I spo