“relationships are inherently a two-person game, so suddenly you’re subject to someone’s process—how they communicate, how they spend their time, who they like, what they value” https://t.co/rVCIOUaxdP
“relationships are inherently a two-person game, so suddenly you’re subject to someone’s process—how they communicate, how they spend their time, who they like, what they value” https://t.co/rVCIOUaxdP
Jacob Falkovich says that single people often seek out similarity when complementarity is what makes relationships cohere long-term. It’s a great observation. But how to operationalize it? Maybe: look for someone you can’t initially understand, but also don’t feel like walking away from.
Sasha Chapin • Getting married soon
Forget what they say—instead look at who they marry.
This is a sure-fire technique, and it tells you important things about people you can’t learn any other way. A person’s choice of a spouse—or if they aren’t married, their closest lifelong partner—is much more revealing than anything they say or do in public.
This choice tells you about their own
... See moreTed Gioia • My 8 Best Techniques for Evaluating Character
When you talk about people you like, or rather when you talk about that thing that happens between you —you have to transform a very complex impression into a string of words. Some relationships can easily be compressed into a compelling string of words. This is usually because they conform to some sort of trope of how romance should look. In my ex... See more
Henrik Karlsson • Looking for Alice
school terms, etc. You can observe how the relationship deals with the flow of life of both people. This information is invaluable in helping a couple see what kind of a “fit” they are.
John Townsend • Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
Roughly match the tempo, volume, and style of others
One thing I’ve learned to do intuitively is match the tempo of someone I’m talking to—I can’t do it perfectly, but I try. If they’re quiet, meek, and deliberate, I refrain from overpowering them. If they’re fast and snappy and loud, I try to keep up. This is pretty crucial. If you stomp all over s... See more
One thing I’ve learned to do intuitively is match the tempo of someone I’m talking to—I can’t do it perfectly, but I try. If they’re quiet, meek, and deliberate, I refrain from overpowering them. If they’re fast and snappy and loud, I try to keep up. This is pretty crucial. If you stomp all over s... See more