Jacob Falkovich says that single people often seek out similarity when complementarity is what makes relationships cohere long-term. It’s a great observation. But how to operationalize it? Maybe: look for someone you can’t initially understand, but also don’t feel like walking away from.

But my body does not like them. One man talks about his failures in a tone that implies he's uncomfortable with himself, like somewhere deep down a part of him believes he's a bad person, and it seems that many of his bids for social approval are attempts to be reassured that he is in fact okay.

I get it, humans - me included - are like this sometim... See more

Forget what they say—instead look at who they marry.

This is a sure-fire technique, and it tells you important things about people you can’t learn any other way. A person’s choice of a spouse—or if they aren’t married, their closest lifelong partner—is much more revealing than anything they say or do in public.

This choice tells you about their own

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