Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood® | The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

It all starts with the universally applicable premise that people want to be understood and accepted. Listening is the cheapest, yet most effective concession we can make to get there. By listening intensely, a negotiator demonstrates empathy and shows a sincere desire to better understand what the other side is experiencing.

Stephen Covey’s sage advice still stands: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

Before you try to move people to your position, make sure they feel that you understand where they are coming from, what they are feeling, and what they are dealing with.

feel I understand your concerns completely.” Now how often in your own life do you get this sort of treatment when you are feeling angry or upset? Probably not much. So if you learn to do this one thing—hold back at the beginning of a difficult conversation and simply focus

Stephen Covey’s sage advice still stands: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

If we want our friends and neighbors to listen to our story, then we must listen to theirs. If we want others to attend to our convictions, then we must first attend to theirs. If we desire for others to cultivate common ground with us, we must do so first. In doing so, we will create a communication climate in which we can fulfill our deepest long