the ability to talk openly about high-stakes, emotional, controversial topics.

there is little chance of healthy dialogue if you don’t focus on the right problem

Watch for clever stories. Victim, Villain, and Helpless Stories sit at the top of the list.

Never allow the conversation to shift or the topic to change without acknowledging you’ve done it.

In order for people to feel safe with you, they need to know two things about your intent. They need to know that: • You care about their concerns (Mutual Purpose). • You care about them (Mutual Respect).

One of the biggest mistakes we make is assuming that just because we’re talking, we must be solving the right problem. It’s not that simple. If you’re not addressing the right issue, you’ll end up in the same conversation over and over again.

The first time something happens, it’s an incident. The second time it might be coincidence. The third time, it’s a pattern.

Talk tentatively. State your story as a story—don’t disguise it as a fact. • Encourage testing. Make it safe for others to express differing or even opposing views.

create the key condition that allows you to talk with almost anyone about almost anything: safety