you ask what people’s underlying interests are – what do they need – then you’re more likely to get to find an imaginative solution.’ That means asking probing, penetrating questions which force the other party off their prepared script, and encourage them to open up about the pressures on them from their own side. It also means listening intently

Negotiate in their world. Persuasion is not about how bright or smooth or forceful you are. It’s about the other party convincing themselves that the solution you want is their own idea. So don’t beat them with logic or brute force. Ask them questions that open paths to your goals. It’s not about you.

Ask questions and pause. Those engaged in negotiation jujitsu use two key tools. The first is to use questions instead of statements. Statements generate resistance, whereas questions generate answers. Questions allow the other side to get their points across and let you understand them. They pose challenges and can be used to lead the other side t

Superstar negotiators—real rainmakers—know that a negotiation is a playing field beneath the words, where really getting to a good deal involves detecting and manipulating subtle, nonobvious signals beneath the surface. It is only by visualizing and modifying these subsurface issues that you can craft a great deal and make sure that it is implement

Here are a few powerful questions I regularly turn to during sessions with clients: What does this mean to you? Imagine if you get to that stage that you’re aiming for, what would that look like? What do you need to know to get to this outcome? What are some possible options you can try? What other ways can you explore to achieve that?

there are a few that you will find that you will use in the beginning of nearly every negotiation. “What is the biggest challenge you face?” is one of those questions. It just gets the other side to teach you something about themselves, which is critical to any negotiation because all negotiation is an information-gathering process. Here are some o