Agalia Tan

the answer cannot be to retreat from relationships. It has to be to take them more seriously. To kill that urge to run and avoid. Because we’ve got two choices here—crumble under the weight of this thing or go all in, against the odds. Forget pretending that love and family aren’t important, that they are oppressive, that loving ourselves is enough... See more

When some of us hear the word community we think of Instagram. We think of Reddit. Or abstract concepts like the LGBT community or mental health communities, nothing real or solid. Which is why whenever someone says something like online communities are a lifeline for young people! I feel like screaming because it’s just so bleak. What have we done... See more

maybe the most dangerous life is one that demands nothing of you

Stop overanalysing it. Don’t sit inside dwelling on what could go wrong. Don’t psychoanalyse everything to the point you deaden something real. You’ve been duped into thinking you can create a life without danger, one liberated from constraints and uncomfortable emotions, and that such a life is desirable. But you can’t, and it’s not. If you connec... See more

We blunt romance and passion with this constant calculation of risk, this paranoid scanning for threats, and by holding back to avoid being hurt. We encourage each other to be emotionally absent, unfazed, uncaring. We even call it empowerment! It’s not. It’s neuroticism. I think we are a generation absolutely terrified of getting hurt and doing all... See more

Life is modular, not linear. You don't choose a career at twenty-two and stick with it for forty years like some kind of professional arranged marriage. Instead of hunting for the mythical perfect tree, follow your curiosity. What ideas make you pause while scrolling? What conversations do you find yourself returning to days later? When a friend me... See more

Good work should do at least one of these things: fund the life you actually want to live, align with values you can defend at dinner parties, surround you with people who challenge you to grow, or teach you skills that compound like interest over decades. Great work does several of these at once.

What kind of life do you want to build? What values do you want your work to reflect? What skills do you want to develop? How do you want to contribute to the world around you? What kind of people do you want to work alongside?

And then:

What are you willing to sacrifice for those things? What discomfort are you willing to endure? What would make yo... See more