Lauren Wilde

The truth is that motherhood is as beautiful as it looks on the congratulations cards, but it can also be a mess. It’s important to be honest about this. No real change is possible until working mothers stop trying to be all things to all people—perfect at work, perfect as partners, and perfect as mothers, with each role kept entirely separate.

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“But even if your mate seems oblivious, he may be detecting your wrath on a subconscious level. A University of Southern California study that observed married couples over several days found that if a mother was stressed, the father’s levels of the stress hormone cortisol would also rise—that, in effect, families “sync up” stress levels.... See more

“Darby Saxbe, a psychology professor at the University of Southern California, explains to me that couples often fall into a pattern of demand and retreat—most often, the woman demands and the man retreats. This dynamic has arisen, she says, because men have less to gain by changing their behavior, while women are more likely to want to alter the... See more

This practice of accepting my feelings without judgment and leaning into self-compassion was the first and most important step in my healing journey. As we always say in the therapy room, you can’t heal what you don’t feel.

I also realized I had to forgive my past self. I had to forgive the version of myself who sat on that couch staring into space,... See more