the goal is not to separate the strands, it's to document the tangle.

(Ann Friedman)

Changing the answer is evolution, Changing the question is revolution.

—Jorge Wagensberg

I became an archaeologist of my soul. It’s hard manual labour. It commands you to be gentle in your excavation. It asks you to investigate with curiosity and remain hopeful when it seems like all you’re digging up is more fucking dirt. There is so much power in that dirt though. Shifting it out of the way, clearing that space; eventually, it reveal

It’s hard to be soft when you’re panicked about how much you’ve lost. Mourning huge losses will warp your understanding of everything around you. Sometimes trauma makes a big thinker like you raise their expectations beyond what is reasonable or rational. You’re grappling with so much buried pain that you believe that you need perfection, you requi

“An ability to tolerate the anxiety generated by ambiguity is what allows us to respect, engage, and grow from our repeated, daily encounters with the essential mysteries of life. But the payoff goes even further. Certainty begets stagnation, but ambiguity pulls us deeper into life. Unchallenged conviction begets rigidity, which begets regression;

Gratitude becomes the color with which I paint your memory; this is intentional. Change is hard for me becomes change is a human inevitability, but I can see how your presence has guided the trajectory. I think of how I am a patchwork quilt of all the people I have loved and of all the people who have loved me. When I drink coffee, I feel the warmt

As long as there is love, there will be grief. The grief of time passing, of life moving on half-finished, of empty spaces that were once bursting with the laughter and energy of people we loved.

As long as there is love there will be grief because grief is love's natural continuation. It shows up in the aisles of stores we once frequented, in the h

An essay is not a vehicle of knowledge transmission; it is a landscape to think in, and a path to get there.

On shortcuts and longcuts

“I don’t think we talk enough about the in betweens. The part when you know you want to change something but don’t yet know how, don’t yet feel strong enough, don’t yet know what your first step is. So to the people in the in betweens, don’t be disheartened, don’t give up. You’ve done the hard part. Now just take it one small step at a time.
–