Molly Simpson
@spagmol
thinker, feeler, third-wheeler
collecting dots here, connecting them there ￬
Molly Simpson
spagmol.substack.com
the same physics applies to desire. we chase what resists us because resistance creates potential energy. mutual interest is stable, static… no orbit, no tension, no movement. but one sided interest is motion. that’s story.
the physics of attention
attention behaves like gravity. it pulls hardest where it’s least returned.
whoever cares less sets the field. the disinterested person becomes the dense object around which everyone else orbits. scarcity creates mass, & mass bends focus.
this applies to everything. in social life, in markets, in culture. the less accessible
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day 2 asks one question, over & over, in silence:
did this thing actually make someone’s life easier to live?
if the answer keeps being “yes,” you don’t need to scream.
if the answer keeps being “no,” you can ship a hundred more features & it won’t matter.
In this way, even if work becomes optional there will still be work to do. It’ll be the arguably harder work of grappling with what really matters to you. It’ll be the more uncomfortable work of figuring out what you value if not achievement, status or money. It’ll be the more exposing work of looking directly in the mirror and understanding who
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learning how to wield the tool of sensitivity is NOT easy
Admitting that everything hurts your feelings is a way of respecting your gigantic heart and honoring the truth of who you are. It’s a way of staying invested in spite of the pain. It’s a way of sticking with difficult people, places, and things that blossom and fade and evolve and bring you joy. It’s a way of demonstrating to the world that vulnerability and softness are not inherently desperate or clingy or self-serving. You are aligned with your most fragile and also your most robust selves, so you can heed both. And slowly, you will understand when to dive in and when to let go. You will be able to say goodbye and leave instead of staying forever, guiltily. You will also have the strength to stick around and see what happens next instead of creeping away out of fear. And when things get difficult, you will find that the easiest path of all is to tell the truth.
A lot of stories are just a way we punish ourselves using our own brains.
It takes a long time to train yourself out of that habit of bad storytelling and bad scratching and constant unhappy itching. It takes a loooooong time. The best way to take a tiny step, in my opinion, is to say:
“I itch A LOT. But there are millions of itchy motherfuckers are
... See moreAdmitting that everything hurts your feelings is the first tiny step to preventing you from entering fight or flight mode. It’s not about scratching or not scratching. It’s about saying to yourself, “I’m itchy.” Noticing the itch. Feeling it. Not fighting it.
First you experiment with saying, “Boy, am I itchy!” in situations where the stakes are
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