Molly Simpson
@spagmol
thinker, feeler, third-wheeler
collecting dots here, connecting them there ￬
Molly Simpson
spagmol.substack.com
It seems to me there are two predominant types of beauty. A beauty that is solipsistic, oriented around glamor and draws us inward in an ever turning gyre — and a beauty that lies outside of us, that makes us more generous and open. The kind we see in a plant or a sky or a work of art or music, or perhaps inside the very kernel of the human soul.
The second type is what inspires us to live, a type of beauty we can never betray.
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Perhaps developing a taste for difficult beauty, or the ability to tolerate mental discomfort is one of the most important human skills to have. To consume novel things, to accept boredom and sadness, to be patient, to override the aversion of being changed. To live our normal lives and see it as both banal and sublime, and godly and mundane, and find the immense beauty somewhere in the crevices.
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True resonance arises from the feeling that what you are seeing is real, that it was forged through a complicated interconnectedness and friction with the world. Ironically, the apex of absolute beauty or symmetry or pleasantness lacks real intimacy. It’s flat. You could look at a doll and feel nothing but the uncanny. But look at a face you love for all its quirks and think it inimitably beautiful.
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I don’t have an answer on how to pacify the insatiable hunger for beauty. Only a reminder that moments I felt most beautiful were never about the pristine makeup, or the perfect figure or outfit. Rather, the aliveness or electricity I felt within, as if I were pursuing my true techne, or craft, upon the earth. And every time I found someone truly beautiful to behold, it was because their soul shone lightly on the surface of their being.
the same physics applies to desire. we chase what resists us because resistance creates potential energy. mutual interest is stable, static… no orbit, no tension, no movement. but one sided interest is motion. that’s story.
the physics of attention
attention behaves like gravity. it pulls hardest where it’s least returned.
whoever cares less sets the field. the disinterested person becomes the dense object around which everyone else orbits. scarcity creates mass, & mass bends focus.
this applies to everything. in social life, in markets, in culture. the less accessible
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day 2 asks one question, over & over, in silence:
did this thing actually make someone’s life easier to live?
if the answer keeps being “yes,” you don’t need to scream.
if the answer keeps being “no,” you can ship a hundred more features & it won’t matter.
In this way, even if work becomes optional there will still be work to do. It’ll be the arguably harder work of grappling with what really matters to you. It’ll be the more uncomfortable work of figuring out what you value if not achievement, status or money. It’ll be the more exposing work of looking directly in the mirror and understanding who
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learning how to wield the tool of sensitivity is NOT easy
Admitting that everything hurts your feelings is a way of respecting your gigantic heart and honoring the truth of who you are. It’s a way of staying invested in spite of the pain. It’s a way of sticking with difficult people, places, and things that blossom and fade and evolve and bring you joy. It’s a way of demonstrating to the world that vulnerability and softness are not inherently desperate or clingy or self-serving. You are aligned with your most fragile and also your most robust selves, so you can heed both. And slowly, you will understand when to dive in and when to let go. You will be able to say goodbye and leave instead of staying forever, guiltily. You will also have the strength to stick around and see what happens next instead of creeping away out of fear. And when things get difficult, you will find that the easiest path of all is to tell the truth.
A lot of stories are just a way we punish ourselves using our own brains.
It takes a long time to train yourself out of that habit of bad storytelling and bad scratching and constant unhappy itching. It takes a loooooong time. The best way to take a tiny step, in my opinion, is to say:
“I itch A LOT. But there are millions of itchy motherfuckers are
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