Sublime

This work is deeply personal, and it invites you to do your own transformative work, because who you are is more important than what you teach.

The therapist’s active listening is not meandering: what underpins it is an attempt to understand – for our sake – how the subterranean operations of the past are affecting the present. We arrive in therapy with questions. We have a presenting problem which hints at, but does not fully capture, the origins of our suffering. Why, for instance, do we

Among the best of the teller-healers I know, and I have been blessed to know many, their stories grow out of their lives as roots grow a tree. The stories have grown them, grown them into who they are. We can tell the difference. We know when someone has “grown” a story facetiously and when the story has genuinely grown them. It is the latter that

who you want to be, how you want to be there for the people in your life and how to hold boundaries and nurture yourself within those relationships can act as a compass.

Part of the low-effort belief is the idea that couples should be able to read each other’s minds:

En el fundamento neurótico de mi deseo de analista se encuentra mi temprana y extrema curiosidad por la vida de los otros.

Among the most important stories we know are stories about ourselves, and these “life narratives” are McAdams’s third level of personality. McAdams’s greatest contribution to psychology has been his insistence that psychologists connect their quantitative data (about the two lower levels, which we assess with questionnaires and reaction-time

Know Where You Are

differently. Indeed, most women’s identity is grounded in relationship to others, but I have a much broader understanding of what relationship means and how identity is bound to these relationships.