Sublime

You cannot speak of women as oppressed without speaking, then, of the consequences. You cannot say that women learn to be indirect without then saying that they learn to manipulate. You cannot say that they stop telling the truth without saying that they lie. Men know very well that women lie to them, manage them, and virtually every man I have

internal managers who are obsessed with power are usually created as a bulwark against feeling helpless.

Am I talking to the mature part of you, the one who’s present in the here and now? This is the part I call the Wise Adult. That’s the part that cares about us. Or am I speaking to a triggered part of you, to your adversarial you and me consciousness? The triggered part of you sees things through the prism of the past.

We are not born into the whole world. We are born into tiny fiefdoms where the adults either know how to love us and care for us well and consistently, or they do not.

He can be nurturing and giving without caretaking or problem-solving.

A commitment to nonviolent living. Nonviolent between you and others, and nonviolent between your ears.

The naive or injured woman is then too easily lured with promises of ease, of lilting enjoyment, of various pleasures, be they promises of elevated status in the eyes of her family, her peers, or promises of increased security, eternal love, high adventure, or hot sex.