Sublime

“The roots of resilience,” the psychologist Diana Fosha writes, “are to be found in the sense of being understood by and existing in the mind and heart of a loving, attuned, and self-possessed other.” In how you see me, I will learn to see myself.

in, you are your most important commodity. The most valuable gift you have to offer is you. “Reaching any goal you set takes ten percent specific knowledge or technical skills—ten percent, max. The other ninety-plus percent is people skills. “And what’s the foundation of all people skills? Liking people? Caring about people? Being a good listener?

In an emotionally healthy childhood, the child can see that the good carer isn’t either entirely good or wholly bad and so isn’t worthy of either idealization or denigration. The child accepts the faults and virtues of the carer with melancholy maturity and gratitude – and in doing so, by extension, becomes ready to accept that everyone they like w

If you desire to raise another person up, then you need to become one of her staunchest supporters.

“I am not fully known to myself because part of what I am is the enigmatic traces of others.”