Sublime

remember that historically, woman’s participation in domestic life, both logistical and psychological, has been mandatory; men’s has been discretionary. This is not a criticism; it is a simple statement of fact.

Therapy is hard work—and not just for the therapist. That’s because the responsibility for change lies squarely with the patient. If you expect an hour of sympathetic head-nodding, you’ve come to the wrong place. Therapists will be supportive, but our support is for your growth, not for your low opinion of your partner. (Our role is to understand

Study after study shows that the most important factor in the success of your treatment is your relationship with the therapist, your experience of “feeling felt.” This matters more than the therapist’s training, the kind of therapy they do, or what type of problem you have.

By their questions and their attention, their careful probing and investigative stealth, the therapist tries – harder than anyone may yet have done – to discover how our presenting problem might be related to the rest of our existence and, in particular, to the turmoils of childhood. Over many sessions, a succession of small discoveries contributes

Therapy builds on the idea of a return to live feelings. It’s only when we’re properly in touch with our feelings that we can correct them with the help of our more mature faculties – and thereby address the real troubles of our adult lives.

As long as a woman is forced into believing she is powerless and/or is trained to not consciously register what she knows to be true, the feminine impulses and gifts of her psyche continue to be killed off.

Dr. Harriet Lerner, one of my heroes and the author of The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships, says, “Our society cultivates guilt feelings in women such that many of us still feel guilty if we are anything less than an emotional service station to