Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

Infant (hope)—trust versus mistrust Toddler (will)—autonomy versus shame Preschooler (purpose)—initiative versus guilt School-age child (competence)—industry versus inferiority Adolescent (fidelity)—identity versus role confusion Young adult (love)—intimacy versus isolation Middle-aged adult (care)—generativity versus stagnation Older adult (wisdom

The four ultimate concerns are death, isolation, freedom, and meaninglessness.

As the late psychotherapist John Weakland famously said, “Before successful therapy, it’s the same damn thing over and over. After successful therapy, it’s one damn thing after another.”

think of a Flannery O’Connor quote: “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”

We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.

Nothing is more desirable than to be released from an affliction, but nothing is more frightening than to be divested of a crutch. —James Baldwin

no matter our external circumstances, we have choices about how to live our lives and that, regardless of what has happened, what we’ve lost, or how old we are, as Rita put it, it ain’t over till it’s over.

“Almost is always the hardest, isn’t it?” she said one afternoon. “Almost getting something.

because if you sign up for intimacy, getting hurt is part of the deal.