Sublime

As I began exploring my own Nice Guy behaviors—caretaking, giving to get, fixing, keeping the peace, avoiding conflict, seeking approval, hiding mistakes—I started noticing numerous men with similar traits in my counseling practice.

regularly enjoying each other’s company and working hard to maintain mutual compassion and respect for each other, getting to know each other in the finest detail, finding ways to express appreciation and care in everyday life.

This natural cycle in a man may already be obstructed from his childhood. He may be afraid to pull away because he witnessed his mother’s disapproval of his father’s emotional distancing. Such a man may not even know that he needs to pull away. He may unconsciously create arguments to justify pulling away.

Dreams for My Children

Though Nice Guys tend to be generous givers, their giving often has unconscious and unspoken strings attached. They want to be appreciated, they want some kind of reciprocation, they want someone to stop being angry at them, etc.

To the detached persons reading this book: Recognize that you have been the terrible friend. Through your fear and obsessive love you have robbed your loved ones of the ability to feel trusted, to feel confident,