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Most people have an Everybody made up of the people who raised them, plus a few individuals who became very important to them at crucial developmental stages in their lives.
Martha Beck • Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live
Put most simply, he borrowed my brain. We do this for one another all the time. Current research clearly indicates that we are not walled-in, freestanding individuals. Our human brains—in fact, most mammals’ brains—are built for co-regulation.
Bruce Springsteen • Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (Goop Press)
... See more“Intimate attachments to other human beings are the hub around which a person’s life revolves, not only when he is an infant or toddler or school child but throughout his adolescence and his years of maturity as well, and on into old age. From these intimate attachments, a person draws his strength and enjoyment of life; through what he contributes
That’s why growing up without being seen, known, understood and approved by your parents leaves its mark upon you.
Jonice Webb • Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships with Your Partner, Your Parents & Your Children
Every child needs a balance between bonding and separation in early childhood. The freedom to come and go is essential to healthy development, and it serves a critical element in being able to merge and separate from a lover in adulthood.
Kenneth M. Adams • When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment
It is fundamentally impossible for a person to live life completely alone, and it is only in social contexts that the person becomes an “individual.”
Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga • The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
A child can be falsely empowered through neglect, as happens when kids are parented by gangs of peers in lieu of appropriate adults to guide them. Children need limits. Children’s natural grandiose, selfish tendencies need to be ameliorated by an adult.
Bruce Springsteen • Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (Goop Press)
Recently we have been hearing of the “mid-life crisis.” Actually, this is but one of many “crises,” or critical stages of development, in life, as Erik Erikson taught us thirty years ago. (Erikson delineated eight crises; perhaps there are more.) What makes crises of these transition periods in the life cycle—that is, problematic and painful—is tha
... See moreM. Scott Peck • The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth
Lyons-Ruth concludes that infants who are not truly seen and known by their mothers are at high risk to grow into adolescents who are unable to know and to see.”