The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
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The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
“No matter what has occurred in your life up to this point, it should have no bearing at all on how you live from now on.” That you, living in the here and now, are the one who determines your own life. YOUTH: My life is determined at this exact point? PHILOSOPHER: Yes, because the past does not exist.
Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga • The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
When we try to change our lifestyles, we put our great courage to the test. There is the anxiety generated by changing, and the disappointment attendant to not changing. I am sure you have selected the latter. YOUTH: Wait . . . Just now, you used the word “courage.” PHILOSOPHER: Yes. Adlerian psychology is a psychology of courage. Your unhappiness
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A more painful and unhappy life might lie ahead. Simply put, people have various complaints about things, but it’s easier and more secure to be just the way one is. YOUTH: One wants to change, but changing is scary?
Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga • The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
The Greek word for “good” (agathon) does not have a moral meaning. It just means “beneficial.” Conversely, the word for “evil” (kakon) means “not beneficial.” Our world is rife with injustices and misdeeds of all kinds, yet there is not one person who desires evil in the purest sense of the word, that is to say something “not beneficial.”
Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga • The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
But you are unhappy now because you yourself chose being unhappy.
Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga • The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
It is you who is ignoring reality. Does fixating on what you are born with change the reality? We are not replaceable machines. It is not replacement we need but renewal.
Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga • The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
“The important thing is not what one is born with but what use one makes of that equipment.” You want to be Y or someone else because you are utterly focused on what you were born with. Instead, you’ve got to focus on what you can make of your equipment.
Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga • The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
Think about it this way. There’s a blank canvas. Someone came and sprinkled some paint on the canvas, which created spots on the canvas. One person is making meaning of this by thinking to themself that since there are spots on my canvas, I can’t paint my imagination to the canvas and the canvas is destroyed. While the other person is thinking about the same scenario differently and in their meaning making process they are thinking that if I brush over the spots, it will enhance that part of the canvas. The spots in the canvas are no way directly influencing the beautiful and inspirational art that can be created on the canvas.
If you are unable to really feel happy, then it’s clear that things aren’t right just as they are. You’ve got to put one foot in front of the other, and not stop.
Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga • The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
“People are not driven by past causes but move toward goals that they themselves set”—that was the philosopher’s claim. The teleology he espoused was an idea that overturned at the root the causality of respectable psychology, and the young man found that impossible to accept. So from which standpoint should he start to argue it? The youth took a d
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