Sublime

we are less engaged with the people we actually live among, and, as a result, we behave less well towards them than we might otherwise do. We are less courteous, less kind, less willing to pass the time of day with them.

these are obviously approximations, but here are mine: 6, 12 to 15, 30, and 150.

I would rather walk the sidewalk in front of a person’s office for two hours before an interview than step into that office without a perfectly clear idea of what I was going to say and what that person—from my knowledge of his or her interests and motives—was likely to answer. If,

This connection, that duration is as important as the number of events, explains in great part why there is so little activity in many new housing projects, such as multistory apartment areas, where great numbers of people in fact live. Residents come and go in great numbers, but there are often only meager opportunities to spend extended periods

Use small talk as a picture frame around business conversations. Begin and end with small talk

Oldenburg contends the most important “first place” in a community is the home. The places where we work are our “second place” since work is required and serious and “reduces the individual to a single productive role.” Our “third place” is composed of those informal, neutral, public social spaces we visit voluntarily—where “conversation is the

CES Communication and the Evolution of Society. Boston:

The less important he makes himself, the more important he probably is (and vice versa).

What comes out of our mouth and our overall demeanor in the conversation is deeply dependent on what is going on inside our head. We cannot be appropriately humble if we misread or misjudge the situation we are in and what is appropriate in that situation. We must become aware that our minds are capable of producing biases, perceptual distortions,