Sublime
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precocious.
Hillary Jordan • Anonymous Sex
Byron refused to act in a manner befitting a gentleman about to get his afternoon shave. I gave up and spurted some cream on his face, clumsily spreading it around like a creepy toddler finger-painting in the Twilight Zone.
Caitlin Doughty • Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory
until Danny Wexler opened his mouth: “I’m Danny Wexler and this is Channel Five sports! The [Undisclosed] football team has been raped in the ass by fate once again, booted from the first round of the playoffs as they failed to carry their inflatable turd past a chalk line in the grass as often as their opponents did. Here’s Hornets quarterback
... See moreJason Pargin • John Dies at the End
Traveling across the United States, it’s easy to see why Americans are often thought of as stupid. At the San Diego Zoo, right near the primate habitats, there’s a display featuring half a dozen life-size gorillas made out of bronze. Posted nearby is a sign reading CAUTION: GORILLA STATUES MAY BE HOT. Everywhere you turn, the obvious is being
... See moreDavid Sedaris • Me Talk Pretty One Day
Wolfgang Fey Freeman Fry
David Sedaris • Theft by Finding: Diaries (1977-2002)
anthropomorphically.”
Jessica Anya Blau • Mary Jane: A Novel


The columns that I wrote for Life made people laugh. But they had a serious purpose, which was to say: “Something crazy is going on here—some erosion in the quality of life, or some threat to life itself, and yet everyone assumes it’s normal.” Today the outlandish becomes routine overnight. The humorist is trying to say that it’s still outlandish.