all the people who are too lazy to exercise. I’ve become the exact sort of person I hate. The least amount of effort makes me self-righteous and I decide that everyone else should suffer just as I do. I’d probably be a monster if I ever quit smoking.

Paris In 1976 Dawn Erickson taught me that, in order to ensure good luck, you’re supposed to say, “Rabbit, rabbit,” on the first day of every month. It has to be the very first thing that comes out of your mouth and you have to say it out loud or else it doesn’t work. I’d never been particularly superstitious, but ever

Near me, two teenage girls stood on the sidewalk selling cigarette lighters to raise money for a class trip. They doubled as can openers, but still, lighters! You’d never find kids doing that in America. Instead, they’d have to sell things like candy bars. I told one of the girls I had

I got a letter from my father and realized it’s only the second one he’s ever sent.

never gave it much thought, as I’d been able to fluently lie and talk my way out of whatever someone was selling. Last

haven’t had a drink in forty-eight hours. This is not an accident but a concerted effort, and a very difficult one. I’d have to double-check, but I’m pretty sure I’ve been drunk every night for the past eighteen years.

On Saturday night I called Paris from the Heathman Hotel in Portland. I’d figured it might cost $30, but I hadn’t spoken to Hugh in weeks. It was late, and I was drunk and feeling lonely. I had only vague memories

Alcohol and telephones do not mix.

au pair,