Sublime

In order to pursue her dream of a committed relationship, Bonnie needed to find a place at the table for the assassin, the protector of her vulnerability and independence. She needed a way of relating to this character so that it would not push away the very men she might truly desire. Eventually, she found the gold in her dark side when she realiz

It is easiest to change insecure attachment patterns as a child.

I estimate nine of 10 men who come into my office for help are also dealing with a low emotional IQ.

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE GROWTH IN INTIMACY There are masculine and feminine gifts in intimacy, and each gift comes with its own responsibility. The direction of growth of a relationship is primarily the man’s responsibility. The energy of an intimacy—pleasure, sexual flow, and vitality—is primarily the woman’s responsibility.

The traumas we internalized were either acute, such as the death of a parent, or developmental, such as being raised by a depressed or immature parent who constantly pulled on you to be the caregiver in your relationship, or what we therapists call the “parentified child.”

We therapists encounter basically two kinds of couples—those who fight and those who distance. With fighters, I often find myself reaching through their many complaints to recall the good, what holds them together—their us. With distant couples, it’s most often the opposite. Instead of pulling for elements of repair, I must first help them surface

Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past.

creation of a relationship in which there is acceptance, non-judgement and unconditional positive regard.