Sublime

The need for belonging twists into a form of fearful pre-rejection with the person experiencing an anxious aversion to the presence of others.

Research has found that strangers assigned to perform a task in pairs feel warmer toward each other when their personalities are complementary than when they’re similar.[22]

Having the right oxytocin genes makes you more affiliative towards and trusting of your partner (an attitude that is probably enhanced by oestrogen in women), but endorphins give you long-term bonding stability and dopamine creates that sense of excitement provided by the relationship, especially a newly formed one.

Culturally and collectively, we have made a momentous mistake which has left us both lonelier and more disappointed than we ever needed to be. In a better world, our most serious goal would be not to locate one special lover with whom to replace all other humans but to put our intelligence and energy into identifying and nurturing a circle of true

Of the many emerging descriptions of our social brain, for me the simplest and most elegant is the highly regarded Social Baseline Theory of Lane Beckes and James A. Coan, two researchers at the University of Virginia.

“We really want to break this pattern,” Blake says. “The less information I have on you, the better, and the fewer actions you take, the less information I have.”

Any and all of Thom’s attention aroused him, whether personal or professional. It made him wonder what Thom would do with him, how he would provoke him next.

Be interested. Ask questions and let your tone be gentle and inquisitive. Good if questions stimulate rich debate. For