Sublime

try to bypass the caprice by redirecting the child’s attention, for example by telling a story about her own life. “Stories about parents are always interesting to children,” the psychologist says.

A child who has watched a parent solve a problem gains enormous strength from that.

TO HELP WITH FEELINGS 1. Listen with full attention. 2. Acknowledge their feelings with a word—“Oh” . . . “Mmm” . . . “I see.” 3. Give their feelings a name. 4. Give them their wishes in fantasy.

anybody here feels she doesn’t have enough, here’s how I like to be asked: “Dad, when you get a chance, can I trouble you for more?”’”

Children are also entitled to adult intervention when necessary. If one child is being abused by the other, either physically or verbally, we’ve got to step in. If there’s a problem that’s disrupting the entire household, we’ve got to step in. If there’s a problem that keeps coming up that hasn’t yielded to their solutions, we’ve got to step in.

speak calmly and respectfully to the kids, using the language of rights: you have the right to do this; you don’t have the right to do that.

As Joseph Chilton Pearce writes, “What we are teaches the child more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become.” Even though the vulnerability of parenting

Entitled children are the inevitable outcome of time and resources that are wildly and disproportionately assigned to the children and not the adults in the family.