New humanism is the philosophy of creative writing. It is a philosophy of disciplined individualism, of crafted authenticity.

Joy is a form of rebellion in a system that profits from fear

what if public libraries were open late every night and we could engage in public life there instead of having to choose between drinking at the bar and domestic isolation

Millions of people — and white people in particular — would rather endure physical isolation, generalized loneliness, caregiving exhaustion, and financial precarity than relinquish some of their societal power. That’s a far less optimistic foundational myth than individualism. But it’s a far more honest one.

I’ve spent my whole life finishing the sentence: It’s going to be ____________. Sometimes I’d say great, because I’d damn well make sure of it. Or I’d say really dangerous , because I had convinced myself that catastrophizing or dress rehearsing tragedy helped me feel a sense of preparedness. Now, all I can do is tell you, Here’s what we’re doing, ... See more

Competence is how good you are when there is something to gain. Character is how good you are when there is nothing to gain. People will reward you for competence. But people will only love you for your character.

About half of my friends kind of hate their jobs, so they're moderately unhappy most of the time, but never unhappy enough to leave. This is the mediocrity trap : situations that are bad-but-not-too-bad keep you forever in their orbit because they never inspire the frustration it takes to achieve escape velocity.

The mediocrity trap is a nasty way t... See more

“It’s not singlehood, dear friend, that hurts; it’s not casual sex, the fluidity of our bonds, nor their ephemeral nature that causes pain.” Rather, it’s the way that power operates in relationships. Desire isn’t a spontaneous, apolitical passion; it’s shaped by the world around us, and by what we’ve been taught to value. Romance operates like a ma... See more

Her kindness and candor. Her curiosity and intellectual courage. Her willingness to explore and contemplate the layers of things rather than reaching for easy judgment