Natalie Audelo

Millions of people — and white people in particular — would rather endure physical isolation, generalized loneliness, caregiving exhaustion, and financial precarity than relinquish some of their societal power. That’s a far less optimistic foundational myth than individualism. But it’s a far more honest one.

Generative Engagement, as a model, is a way of thinking about how you make moment-by-moment choices to interact with others to create generative space between you. It asks that you consider three conditions* in your interactions to shape patterns of generative engagement.

• You stand together, sharing identity. You come together, across your differenc

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I don’t care if I’m popular, I’m just going to do this. I’m a lifer in this. I’m going to do this forever.

. Neuroscience experiments by my lab show that when people intentionally build social ties at work, their performance improves. A Google study similarly found that managers who “express interest in and concern for team members’ success and personal well-being” outperform others in the quality and quantity of their work.

When we understand our consumer choices not as an expression of our uniqueness, but instead as a reflection of our demonstrated social preferences and aspirations, we end up learning even more about ourselves—and who we are trying to become. The bigger question is: What will it cost you?