Arianna Cordero

Limerence is the mental state of being madly in love[1][2] or intensely infatuated[3][4] when reciprocation of the feeling is uncertain. This state is characterized by intrusive thoughts and idealization of the loved one (also called "crystallization"), typically with a desire for reciprocation to form a relationship. This is accompanied by... See more

There is a good deal of implicit sentiment around relationships that troubles me, because it assumes a fundamentally defensive posture: You have to be happy first, you should date around a lot, you should reject quickly and on small pretenses, you shouldn’t take dating too seriously, etc. For some even attachment is a dirty word! 1 All of this is... See more

It’s not a skill to make someone feel desirable. It’s not impressive to crave a body when you don’t even know it’s grief. I am not hard to want. But I am hard to hold. Hard to know. Hard to get close to.

What accounts for this hesitation? Why do we love committers but act like browsers? I think it’s because of three fears. First, we have a fear of regret: we worry that if we commit to something, we will later regret having not committed to something else. Second, we have a fear of association: we think that if we commit to something, we will be... See more