lili

4 stages of habit formation

1. Noticing

2. Wanting 

3. Doing 

4. Liking 

Stage 1. Noticing 

Implementation Intentions 

People don’t lack motivation they lack clarity

Give your goals a time and place to live in the world 

The failure premortem

• A quick exercise to notice what’s holding you back 

• It is six months from now. Imagine you have failed to achieve your most important goal. Write the story of how it happened. What caused it to fail? 

• Once you have this clarity, you can create ‘if, then’ plans to adjust for these challenges. 

Stage 2. Wanting 

• Environments influence our desires 

• Often we want things simply because we see them as an option 

• You don’t have to be a victim of your environment, you can also be the architect and design your environment to make your good behaviours easier, your bad ones harder

• Many of our desires are shaped because we have an environment that shapes us that way  

Stage 3. Doing

• Hone in on the skill 

• Any outcome is just a point along the spectrum of repetitions 

• The more reps you put in, the more likely you are to achieve that goal 

• Optimise for the starting line, not the finish line 

  • If you make it as easy as possible to get started and get your reps in, often the outcome comes as a natural result 

Stage 4. Liking 

• Only reason we repeat behaviours is because we enjoy the reward 

• Good habits have delayed consequences so: 

  • Need to figure out ways to bring in a reward to the present moment 

• The best way to change long term behaviour is with short term feedback 

• The more evidence we have of a belief, the more likely we are to believe it 

• The actions that you take provide evidence of who you are 

  • Every action is a vote for the type of person you wish to become

  • If you take a new action and begin to accumulate evidence for that belief about yourself, the more votes you get the more likely you are to win the election
    
    True change is Identity change 

  • Goal is not to read a book, the goal is to become a reader

  • The goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to become a runner

  • The goal is not to write a book, the goal is to become a writer 

  • The goal is to become a type of person, to develop an identity 

  • The way to being something or becoming someone is through doing something 

Every time you practice an action, you are being a desired identity. 

A friend sent me this note after a delayed reply to my message. I'd love a world where we drop the often (self) imposed urge to measure the quality of our contribution to relationships based on speed.