Frank Brown

is a three-step process that takes you from making a mistake to moving beyond it.

1. Own your mistake. To do this, say to yourself, “I made a mistake. I’m human. I will take responsibility for it and I will work my way through this.” Then check your emotions. Name what you are feeling.


2. Show yourself compassion. Think through how this mistake happened.

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You don’t need to be right. You don’t have to prove it to them. The new you knows letting go of the need to be right allows you the energy to focus on better and bigger things. Let them think what they want to think. Your peace isn’t up for debate.

Because grace is of God, it ultimately wins. We are forgiven by God, whatever horrors we commit or are done to us, however unmeritorious our deeds and broken our lives, because that’s who God is. Grace is free; we don’t earn it nor are we required to deserve it. That’s what makes grace grace. It comes unbidden to us all.

This isn’t a marathon, this is the rest of my life, and what gets me through it isn’t eternal helpless vigilance or angry posting. It’s forming connections with other people around activities that bring me joy. It’s building trust, so that when some goose-stepping fuck tries to make me afraid of my neighbors, I can laugh at him.

I think I became an alcoholic because I was ashamed of me. I was afraid to be me.

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My drinking grew from fearing what the Universe had in store for me; Sobriety has been accepting what the Universe has in store for me.

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Go to bed earlier. Wake up and move right away. Find sunlight and get in it. Even when you feel tired, go on a walk. Cheer yourself on the entire time. These small shifts are creating an entirely new version of yourself. Commit to them, and you’ll be a different person.

“Spiritual bypassing is a term I coined to describe a process I saw happening in the Buddhist community I was in, and also in myself. Although most of us were sincerely trying to work on ourselves, I noticed a widespread tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and ... See more