# Recovery

That the small decisions add up—in both directions. I can decide to take daily actions that put my needs first, feel incrementally better, and be able to help others. Or, I can put something else first, quickly start to suffer, and become a burden to everyone around me. It’s all so infuriatingly simple.

The most damaging lie I told myself was that people couldn’t love me for who I was, that it was necessary to divine what they wanted and play that part, instead of just being myself.

I tell them that the Big Book isn’t about getting religion or worshipping anything—it’s simply about recognizing where you really stand in the Universe and answering some very personal questions about how you got here, where you’d like to go and the things that would need to change, to make that possible.

I think as we bounce and vibrate our way through life, we encounter other people who bounce and vibrate in a complementary way. The combination with these people can be kind of musical and definitely magical, as we unconsciously create new notes, maybe even change keys.

These people tend not to stay, unfortunately. I think these special people are ... See more

I believe I’ve always been a sensitive, generous, and caring person—but too wound up in my own troubles to express that or to really be there for others

I got the help I needed. Medication helped turn down the volume on my feelings enough that I could hear my thoughts over them, and made them small enough to get my arms around. I ask myself questions like, “Is this true, and how do I know it?” and say things like, “The problem will be there tomorrow.”

I can see that I’m lot kinder to myself in the aftermath of these moments. There’s a lot less judgment, and I'm a lot quicker to apologize and try to repair. I can objectively say that my life is one thousand percent better sober, yet I can’t stop imagining the other lives that I want or obsessing over the lives I haven’t had. And then all of my ch... See more

my character defects — or defaults, as my sponsor likes to call them

“Don’t insist that what happens should happen as you wish, wish that things happen as they actually happen then your life will go well.” — Epictetus