# Recovery

Accountable people look for solutions, not scapegoats. They blame no one-not even themselves. If a "self-critique" is warranted, they ask QBQs like "What could I have done differently?" and "How can I learn from this experience?

the emotional literacy section of the manhood handbook was ripped out somewhere around second grade and replaced with “just walk it off.”

I am who I am today because of relying on a power greater than myself, attempting rigorous honesty, having sponsors, taking responsibility for my shit, and trying to be of service to others.

The AA motto— To Thine Own Self Be True —is not a tagline. It’s the heartbeat of the 12 Steps, the Traditions, and the Concepts. It’s not always evident on the surface, but the principles embedded in the 12 Steps are designed to bring a person home to themselves. Not to some idealized version of self-improvement, but to the original self. The essen... See more

Because I can't change a tire. I can't do my taxes. I can't light a grill. I usually can't hang a picture without creating holes the size of silver dollars in the drywall. (But the few times I have done it successfully, man, oh, man, did I feel like I could save us all.) I can't camp. Or ski. Or climb up ladders higher than six feet. I speak no oth... See more

I do not believe in fate. I do not believe in a higher power that runs my life like a puppet master. But I do believe that it’s up to me to see, hear, feel HP in my life (step 11). It will take me a while to fully grasp the lessons I have learned through this journey.

I am willing to not know, look stupid, make an ass of myself, get it wrong, be awkward, be uncomfortable.

I am willing to do all that so I CAN BE FREE.

What other people might think seems like vital information when you have rarely had a felt sense of belonging in the world. I wonder what it's like to just get out of bed, put clothes on, grab your keys, walk out of the house, go to a place, and not think anything of it. Like, not think about any of it. AT ALL.

is a three-step process that takes you from making a mistake to moving beyond it.

1. Own your mistake. To do this, say to yourself, “I made a mistake. I’m human. I will take responsibility for it and I will work my way through this.” Then check your emotions. Name what you are feeling.


2. Show yourself compassion. Think through how this mistake happened.

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