# Recovery

Once I started making a little more money and had no access to a till, I went further into debt, never denying myself a thing. I spent my money on clothes, CDs and musical instruments I couldn’t play very well. I was entitled to it all

I believe I’ve always been a sensitive, generous, and caring person—but too wound up in my own troubles to express that or to really be there for others

Seeing self-criticism and self-doubt as things that play out naturally rather than fires to be immediately doused help me take them less seriously and less literally.

preoccupied attachment — always scanning for proof we’re loved, always bracing for abandonment. We’re so used to checking the “supply line” to feel okay — whether that’s alcohol, a person, or constant external validation — that we forget we can carry the reassurance inside us.

"It lets me be nice to myself, cancel plans, change my mind, be tired, ask for things from other people, and know that I might have different needs from them. By that, other people have different needs from me, and I don't need to feel abandoned by them."

The AA motto— To Thine Own Self Be True —is not a tagline. It’s the heartbeat of the 12 Steps, the Traditions, and the Concepts. It’s not always evident on the surface, but the principles embedded in the 12 Steps are designed to bring a person home to themselves. Not to some idealized version of self-improvement, but to the original self. The... See more

I’m ashamed of my neediness of not wanting to be abandoned. I don’t want to be cast off and unloved.