# Recovery

Today I pray that money comes to me with ease and clarity. I pray to spend and save within my value system. I remember that debt doesn’t make me bad or unworthy. My money business is my business, not anyone else’s. God as my employer, I surrender to spirit’s will for me.

My body knows — has always known — what I want. The feeling of ease and sinking into, yes. This. This feels right.

In sobriety, I am recalling what my body wants.

What I have to tease out in sobriety is what is a nervous feeling for good reason, and what is a nervous feeling from trauma.

The body knows, my favorite Boundaries Coach Molly Davis... See more

Drinking did for me what I couldn’t do for myself: it hid my insides from the outside world. It concealed the parts of me that I deemed unacceptable and unlovable.

"Mono means "thing," and aware (pronounced ah-wah-reh) translates to the sensitivity or gentle sadness about the transitory, ephemeral nature of life. It can also mean sensitivity toward things and the nature of life – something that is consciously recognized and accepted with a hint of melancholy or wistfulness."

Then it got more specific:

“This is... See more

I believe the Steps are more like a spiritual initiation that works toward destroying our old, deluded, self-centered selves so that God and our Sober Elders can put the pieces of our lives back together in the form of a wholly new self.

We'll See - A Zen Story

There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit.

"Such bad luck," they said sympathetically.

"We'll see," the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses.

"How... See more

Sobriety has been about finding my true self and identifying the false narratives, and then laughing at the ridiculous grandiosity and general overblown-ness of my fears and feelings.

The AA motto— To Thine Own Self Be True —is not a tagline. It’s the heartbeat of the 12 Steps, the Traditions, and the Concepts. It’s not always evident on the surface, but the principles embedded in the 12 Steps are designed to bring a person home to themselves. Not to some idealized version of self-improvement, but to the original self. The... See more

Richard Rohr, OFM.

“The false self is all the things we pretend to be and think we are. It is the pride, arrogance, title, costume, role, and degree we take to be ourselves. It is what’s passing and what’s going to die, and it is not who we are ,”