# Recovery

# Recovery

We were placed in the middle of adult dysfunction at a very young age. We learned it was our job to focus on others and make things better. We also learned that our needs and wants were not important. It became a habit we carried into adulthood that also kept us from looking at ourselves.

The most damaging lie I told myself was that people couldn’t love me for who I was, that it was necessary to divine what they wanted and play that part, instead of just being myself.

Not Somebody Else's Guy

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My drinking grew from fearing what the Universe had in store for me; Sobriety has been accepting what the Universe has in store for me.

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TFLMS

My active drinking career highlighted a lot of things I didn’t know how to do:

Be honest with myself.

Understand my own motivations and needs.

See my proper place in the world.

Appreciate my own quirks.

Believe that I’m enough for the world, as-is.

substack.com • Do the Thing You Don't Know How to Do - By T.B.D.

Once I started making a little more money and had no access to a till, I went further into debt, never denying myself a thing. I spent my money on clothes, CDs and musical instruments I couldn’t play very well. I was entitled to it all

Ben T G • Pretty Thief - By Ben T G - Hopping Off the Bus to Abilene

I needed to quiet the constant voice in my head wondering why we still didn’t measure up, why we hadn’t accomplished more, why more people didn’t like us, why were we always so alone?

Article

“Ho’oponopono” — it centers around 4 phrases, like a mantra, and it goes “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.”

I’m slowly making a new life. It began by accepting what was; That I was an alcoholic who lacked the power to control my drinking. That I needed help. That I couldn’t go on the way I had been living.

T.B.D. • Into The Distance

I work with extroverts, people who were never the kid no one wanted to sit next to on the bus

Ben T G • Washing my shirts in hot till I feel swole