# Recovery

Absolute Honesty:

“No lying, no cheating, no stealing; in a word, in all your affairs, simply and absolutely no falsehood.”

Absolute Purity:

“Purity of mind, purity of body, purity of the emotions, purity of heart, sexual purity.”

Absolute Unselfishness:

“Seeking what is right and true ahead of what I want in every situation.”

Absolute Love:

“Loving... See more

The most damaging lie I told myself was that people couldn’t love me for who I was, that it was necessary to divine what they wanted and play that part, instead of just being myself.

W e, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have re-covered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.

Perfectionism is a mindset that demands we perform as superbly as possible to be sufficient as a person. We conflate our goodness as a person with our performance in areas we care about—academics, our job, our social behavior, fitness, appearance, parenting, home organization, the list goes on.

"True acceptance is very, very, very had; but true acceptance has been the key to my recovery, to my tranquility and happiness. I needed to accept that things, at this particular moment, are exactly as they should be—including me. I had to let go of the idea that it was up to me to traverse the chasm between what I was and what I should have been.... See more

preoccupied attachment — always scanning for proof we’re loved, always bracing for abandonment. We’re so used to checking the “supply line” to feel okay — whether that’s alcohol, a person, or constant external validation — that we forget we can carry the reassurance inside us.

Accountable people look for solutions, not scapegoats. They blame no one-not even themselves. If a "self-critique" is warranted, they ask QBQs like "What could I have done differently?" and "How can I learn from this experience?

Sobriety has been about finding my true self and identifying the false narratives, and then laughing at the ridiculous grandiosity and general overblown-ness of my fears and feelings.

I felt sick in that house all the time because it’s a terrible feeling to be cast in the role of co-conspirator before you’re old enough to choose, or to have any say at all. It makes you feel meaningless and powerless and like you’re part of something secretive and ugly, even if you don’t fully understand what it is.