# Recovery

Go to bed earlier. Wake up and move right away. Find sunlight and get in it. Even when you feel tired, go on a walk. Cheer yourself on the entire time. These small shifts are creating an entirely new version of yourself. Commit to them, and you’ll be a different person.

I got the help I needed. Medication helped turn down the volume on my feelings enough that I could hear my thoughts over them, and made them small enough to get my arms around. I ask myself questions like, “Is this true, and how do I know it?” and say things like, “The problem will be there tomorrow.”

My drinking grew from fearing what the Universe had in store for me; Sobriety has been accepting what the Universe has in store for me.

I knew that I had once again repeated the same old pattern: I threw everything I could into the relationship (all caution to the wind) and spent no time on taking care of myself and dealing with my own problems.

I bet all my chips on thinking that if I could find “love” that my relationship would solve all my problems.

I was wrong.

I drank to avoid: that I have to make myself essential so people won't kick me out or abandon me, that my only value is in how useful or accommodating I can be to other people.

Perfectionism is a mindset that demands we perform as superbly as possible to be sufficient as a person. We conflate our goodness as a person with our performance in areas we care about—academics, our job, our social behavior, fitness, appearance, parenting, home organization, the list goes on.

Long-distance relationships were, for me, a perfect balance of commitment and freedom. I loved the emotional roller coaster that comes from longing, reconciling and parting, over and over again. I’ve been through three of them, and in each case I was ambivalent about actually moving to the new town. They allowed me to put my best self forward,... See more

It takes time and patience and steady pressure to extract the weed, the negative traits, the damaging and self-destructive ways of thinking. That process, by itself, is a profound act of self-acceptance. The next profound act of self-acceptance is understanding that the job will never be completely done, some traits, some thinking patterns that... See more

My body knows — has always known — what I want. The feeling of ease and sinking into, yes. This. This feels right.

In sobriety, I am recalling what my body wants.

What I have to tease out in sobriety is what is a nervous feeling for good reason, and what is a nervous feeling from trauma.

The body knows, my favorite Boundaries Coach Molly Davis... See more