# Recovery

“Dear Frau V.,

Your questions are unanswerable because you want to know how one ought to live. One lives as one can. There is no single, definite way for the individual which is prescribed for him or would be the proper one. If that’s what you want you had best join the Catholic Church, where they tell you what’s what. Moreover this way fits in with... See more

It takes time and patience and steady pressure to extract the weed, the negative traits, the damaging and self-destructive ways of thinking. That process, by itself, is a profound act of self-acceptance. The next profound act of self-acceptance is understanding that the job will never be completely done, some traits, some thinking patterns that... See more

the thing I did that seemed completely impossible at the start was this: I started to live my own life, the one that was meant for me.

I stopped listening to what other people said, I stopped listening to what I imagined people were saying. I stopped listening to the nonsense I said. I started listening to my heart. I stopped pretending and started... See more

I drank to avoid: that I have to make myself essential so people won't kick me out or abandon me, that my only value is in how useful or accommodating I can be to other people.

Go to bed earlier. Wake up and move right away. Find sunlight and get in it. Even when you feel tired, go on a walk. Cheer yourself on the entire time. These small shifts are creating an entirely new version of yourself. Commit to them, and you’ll be a different person.

I remembered that I actually did put this person on a way-too-early amends list, one that I'd thrown together with a few weeks of sobriety and zero program. I put them on the list, not because I did anything to them but because I simply wanted them to like me. In my delusional Dale Carnegie fever dream, I'd win this friend and influence the person... See more

"Mono means "thing," and aware (pronounced ah-wah-reh) translates to the sensitivity or gentle sadness about the transitory, ephemeral nature of life. It can also mean sensitivity toward things and the nature of life – something that is consciously recognized and accepted with a hint of melancholy or wistfulness."

Then it got more specific:

“This is... See more

my ideal self doesn’t exist.