# Recovery

Once I started making a little more money and had no access to a till, I went further into debt, never denying myself a thing. I spent my money on clothes, CDs and musical instruments I couldn’t play very well. I was entitled to it all

I can see that I’m lot kinder to myself in the aftermath of these moments. There’s a lot less judgment, and I'm a lot quicker to apologize and try to repair. I can objectively say that my life is one thousand percent better sober, yet I can’t stop imagining the other lives that I want or obsessing over the lives I haven’t had. And then all of my... See more

Ultimately, trying to control the narrative about my own coolness is like trying to throw a football: I cannot do it.

my character defects — or defaults, as my sponsor likes to call them

My body knows — has always known — what I want. The feeling of ease and sinking into, yes. This. This feels right.

In sobriety, I am recalling what my body wants.

What I have to tease out in sobriety is what is a nervous feeling for good reason, and what is a nervous feeling from trauma.

The body knows, my favorite Boundaries Coach Molly Davis... See more

I think as we bounce and vibrate our way through life, we encounter other people who bounce and vibrate in a complementary way. The combination with these people can be kind of musical and definitely magical, as we unconsciously create new notes, maybe even change keys.

These people tend not to stay, unfortunately. I think these special people are... See more

“Dear Frau V.,

Your questions are unanswerable because you want to know how one ought to live. One lives as one can. There is no single, definite way for the individual which is prescribed for him or would be the proper one. If that’s what you want you had best join the Catholic Church, where they tell you what’s what. Moreover this way fits in with... See more

It's amazing us alcoholics have regular access to a space where we can authentically express ourselves without judgement and lean on the community for comfort.

“Young man, do not forget to pray. Each time you pray, if you do so sincerely, there will be the flash of a new feeling in it, and a new thought as well, one you did not know before, which will give you fresh courage, and you will understand that prayer is education.”