# Recovery

I don’t how shame came to be part of the equation of who I am—but it ran pretty deep. I think that sense of inner shame is pretty common among us alcoholics and addicts; it’s true that drinking and using let us escape other people and external obligations—but it was mostly me that I was running from.

"True acceptance is very, very, very had; but true acceptance has been the key to my recovery, to my tranquility and happiness. I needed to accept that things, at this particular moment, are exactly as they should be—including me. I had to let go of the idea that it was up to me to traverse the chasm between what I was and what I should have been.... See more

we are not unwell or broken. We are simply becoming ourselves

Perfectionism is a mindset that demands we perform as superbly as possible to be sufficient as a person. We conflate our goodness as a person with our performance in areas we care about—academics, our job, our social behavior, fitness, appearance, parenting, home organization, the list goes on.

I can see that I’m lot kinder to myself in the aftermath of these moments. There’s a lot less judgment, and I'm a lot quicker to apologize and try to repair. I can objectively say that my life is one thousand percent better sober, yet I can’t stop imagining the other lives that I want or obsessing over the lives I haven’t had. And then all of my... See more

If there’s a creator waiting for my arrival, I hope it’s holding a sign that says: “You Did Better Than You Think.”

I shared at that meeting about how I have always felt like I have to prove to someone that I’m worthy of love, how it has sabotaged my love relationships, and how it all began with my mother, who left my dad and me when I was three