Sandy Yacoub

– Instead of “Every time you hide, you prove we don’t belong,” it could say:

“I know you don’t trust the outside. But can we test it in small doses, together?”

Daily Parts Watchlist

1. Striver (Achiever)

☐ Did I keep my goals enough-sized instead of everything-sized?

☐ Did I stop after the minimum win (1 reading, 1 wall layer, 1 meal)?

2. Critic (Self-Doubter)

☐ Did I catch the shift from helpful feedback → shame?

☐ Did I reframe “not enough” into “what was useful today?”

3. Protector of Comfort

☐ Did I... See more

The Striver would still bring its structure and prep, but it would measure success by movement toward the Yearner’s vision, not by flawless execution. That’s a gentler partnership.

Daily Page Layout

1. Sleep Log (top of page)

🛏️ Bed / Asleep / Wake-ups / Wake time

Example: “11:30 / 1:00 / up at 4–6 / woke 8:30”

2. Threshold Reps

🚪 Did I cross the door today? Y/N

🚇 Commute tolerance (mins or classes sat through)

Example: “Walk → train → 1 class = 2 reps”

3. Facts vs. Meaning

✏️ Fact: _____________________

💭 Meaning I added:... See more

It’s the intolerance of liminality. Your system doesn’t yet trust that you can survive the stretch between safety and engagement without something collapsing. Which is why smoking, meds, or Uber all become shortcuts—they erase the in-between.

So the watchlist is:

– Striver → keep it to enough , not everything.

– Critic → turn shame into feedback.

– Protector → give it rest without letting it run the whole show.

Wrosch et al. (2003) offer a psychologically elegant, empirically backed account of how people adapt when life blocks their path. Their legacy is the insight that happiness isn’t just about pursuing goals—it’s about disengaging from the wrong ones and reengaging with new ones at the right time .