Becoming

Path from Negotiation → Unburdening (with Self Energy focus)

Step 1: Strengthen Self Presence

– Notice when a part is speaking (Protector, Striver, Critic, Yearner).

– Instead of blending with it (“I am ashamed”), say: “I notice my Critic is loud right now.”

– That separation is how Self creates space. Self energy is calm, curious, compassionate—it ... See more

End-of-Day Self Reflection

✏️ Which parts showed up today?

✏️ How did I respond—did I fight them, partner with them, or let them run?

✏️ One sentence: “Today I’m becoming someone who ______.”

Daily Parts Watchlist

1. Striver (Achiever)

☐ Did I keep my goals enough-sized instead of everything-sized?

☐ Did I stop after the minimum win (1 reading, 1 wall layer, 1 meal)?

2. Critic (Self-Doubter)

☐ Did I catch the shift from helpful feedback → shame?

☐ Did I reframe “not enough” into “what was useful today?”

3. Protector of Comfort

☐ Did I notic... See more

So the watchlist is:

– Striver → keep it to enough , not everything.

– Critic → turn shame into feedback.

– Protector → give it rest without letting it run the whole show.

– Instead of “Every time you hide, you prove we don’t belong,” it could say:

“I know you don’t trust the outside. But can we test it in small doses, together?”

– Instead of “You’re lazy and ruining everything,” the Critic could say:

“I get you’re trying to keep us safe from overwhelm. I’m just scared your way keeps us stuck.”

If the Critic only attacks the Protector, then the real healing work isn’t about silencing the Critic entirely—it’s about translating its panic . Underneath, the Critic is saying: “I’m terrified the Protector’s avoidance will cost us the life we’re trying to build.” That fear is valid. The method (shaming) isn’t.

The Striver would still bring its structure and prep, but it would measure success by movement toward the Yearner’s vision, not by flawless execution. That’s a gentler partnership.