you're not supposed to be here

Back at my hovel, sitting on my little love-seat sofa, I felt a longing for my mom so intense, it felt like it was filling up my lungs. If she’d been here, I would’ve rested my head on her shoulder and she’d have stroked my hair. I would’ve pressed my ear against her chest, shushed by the rhythm of her breathing. And then she’d have tightened her

Maybe you’ll never get over the initial shock of existing at all, and will spend your life as a perpetual newcomer, still trying to catch your breath, right until the last.

Whatever we had in mind (consciously or subconsciously) isn’t what’s happening. Instead, it’s more difficult, overwhelming, or dull than we’d envisioned.

“It’s just life is so much harder than I thought it would be,” I confessed. “I thought if I had a plan and followed the rules, it would be easy.”

“There is a gaping opportunity to consolidate our myriad marginaliaIV into an even more robust commonplace book. One searchable, always accessible, easily shared and embedded amongst the digital text we consume.”6