zielschmerz n. the dread of finally pursuing a lifelong dream, which requires you to put your true abilities out there to be tested on the open savannah,

For a moment you’re able to shake off the spell of language and see things as they are, in all their unknowable complexity. This world is far bigger than the handful of places you’ve seen or heard about; your inner experience is far richer than the stories you tell yourself; your loved ones are far deeper than the roles they play in your life;

Who knows how many Van Goghs you might be walking past, busy doing their work, just a few years too early to recognize?

Eventually you have to decide what to do with this desire. Do you tamp it down in yourself, or do you chase after it? Should you quit your job to pursue your dream, or hang on to that steady paycheck?

the whipgraft delusion n. the phenomenon in which you catch your reflection in the mirror and get the sense that you’re peering into the eyes of a stranger,

Strange that no matter how predictable your life is, nobody in history has ever lived it before.

Maybe you’ll never get over the initial shock of existing at all, and will spend your life as a perpetual newcomer, still trying to catch your breath, right until the last.

Sometimes you have no idea what to think about yourself, feeling somehow better than everybody but not good enough for anybody.

heartmoor n. the primal longing for a home village to return to, a place that no longer exists, if it ever did;