in my (not so fun) feels

Allowances — for grief, for pain, for childbirth, for illness — have been so hard to come by, I think, because we discount the body. Worse, we hold it in contempt compared to the mind, a proxy for religious spirit, so that the reality and risk of cruelty and brutalization are minimized and ignored.

The only things I allow myself to feel regret about are past food, clothing, and hair choices. Everything else, I think of as part of my path, my journey. All the steps we’ve taken have led us to where we are. For some reason, in this culture, we always want to win, be right, comfortable, and happy. There is, however, tremendous value in losing, in... See more

Boredom is just “What’s the use?” in disguise. And “What’s the use?” is fear, and fear means you are secretly in despair. So put your fears on the page.

A number of psychological theories have been advanced to explain chronic worry. One of the most prominent is called the avoidance model, which explains how worry can become obsessive and intrusive in our lives. This model argues that inveterate worriers replace thoughts of clear outcomes of problems, especially potentially catastrophic ones, with a... See more

So, on your worry list, write down the best outcome for each problem, the worst outcome, and the most likely outcome. Then add what you would do in each instance. This makes the source of worry specific and gives you a management plan.

Why would rational and intelligent people want to contort their lives like a hyper-kinetic yoga instructor jacked up on an all-day energy drink?

Surely, it has something to do with our obsession with doing, over just being, and the endless pursuit of excitement, which we mistake for happiness. Add to this our collective fear that we will run out of... See more