Things to come back to when I’m feeling meh

Flett has come to understand mattering as a counterpoint to perfectionism, a more viable way to arrive at a sense of self-worth. One doesn’t have to be perfect; one just has to matter to someone. Indeed, feeling invisible or undervalued—a feeling Flett calls “anti-mattering”—is often what fuels a perfectionist’s neurosis. Flett’s first... See more

Watch your mind sometime and you’ll realize that it’s always answering questions. Fear is an answer to what could go wrong. Pain is an answer to what’s missing. You’ll quickly realize that the mind naturally goes for the negative, not the light. So you must consciously ask yourself empowering questions. Ones that result in you making loving choices

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You can go through a lot of relationships and experience a lot of flavors of admiration and obsession and limerence — in other words, lots of things that kind of feel like love — without experiencing real love. (This is either terrifying or reassuring, depending on your perspective.)

“You sensed that you should be following a different path, a more ambitious one, you felt that you were destined for other things but you had no idea how to achieve them and in your misery you began to hate everything around you.”

―

Fyodor Dostoyevsky,

Netochka Nezvanova