the female experience
all thoughts on what it means to be a woman
the female experience
“Good boy, thinks Kate. What has Kate Heffer possibly done to deserve such an insult? Everyone in Kate's life says there is a place and a role for good girls, and Kate, you are a good girl, here are the rules of being a good girl and the instructions to follow for you to have a good girldom verified, and testified and confirmed." - Headshot by Rita
... See moreThinking about this idea of a “good girl” in the context of my own experiences with being praised for being a “good girl” and seeing how much that contrasted with how my brother would be treated for his behavior as a boy. The excusability of his messy and careless actions were tied to his being a boy, but when I would even go and try something similar, it was tied to how I was not being proper, not being a “good girl”.
what about being a girl makes us so privy to responsibility? where does this idea come from that makes my parents think that "because i'm a girl", i was not messy, disorganised, irresponsible, and the list goes on and on...
Like armor or a mask, the good girl archetype is a protective mechanism, a way to be that helps us feel safe and loved in the patriarchy but that is ultimately disempowering.
Majo Molfino • Break the Good Girl Myth: How to Dismantle Outdated Rules, Unleash Your Power, and Design a More Purposeful Life
“What a sad thing, to be a good girl, thinks Rachel. God, how I hate the sound of it. Good girl, thinks Rachel, is mountains and mountains worse than good boy. All a good boy has to do to be good is put on a clean shirt. Nobody wants to be a good girl, thinks Rachel. There can't be a single girl in here who wants to be just fine.”
A quote from Headshot
We learned to be "good" - to follow the rules about putting others first, never being selfish, always being agreeable. But in doing so, we lost touch with our own trickster energy: the cunning, vivifying power that could help us steal back what's been taken from us.
Why brilliant women can solve everyone's problems – except our own
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