the female experience
all thoughts on what it means to be a woman
the female experience
We learned to be "good" - to follow the rules about putting others first, never being selfish, always being agreeable. But in doing so, we lost touch with our own trickster energy: the cunning, vivifying power that could help us steal back what's been taken from us.
Why brilliant women can solve everyone's problems – except our own
what about being a girl makes us so privy to responsibility? where does this idea come from that makes my parents think that "because i'm a girl", i was not messy, disorganised, irresponsible, and the list goes on and on...
“Good boy, thinks Kate. What has Kate Heffer possibly done to deserve such an insult? Everyone in Kate's life says there is a place and a role for good girls, and Kate, you are a good girl, here are the rules of being a good girl and the instructions to follow for you to have a good girldom verified, and testified and confirmed." - Headshot by Rita
... See moreThinking about this idea of a “good girl” in the context of my own experiences with being praised for being a “good girl” and seeing how much that contrasted with how my brother would be treated for his behavior as a boy. The excusability of his messy and careless actions were tied to his being a boy, but when I would even go and try something similar, it was tied to how I was not being proper, not being a “good girl”.
“What a sad thing, to be a good girl, thinks Rachel. God, how I hate the sound of it. Good girl, thinks Rachel, is mountains and mountains worse than good boy. All a good boy has to do to be good is put on a clean shirt. Nobody wants to be a good girl, thinks Rachel. There can't be a single girl in here who wants to be just fine.”
A quote from Headshot
Like armor or a mask, the good girl archetype is a protective mechanism, a way to be that helps us feel safe and loved in the patriarchy but that is ultimately disempowering.
Majo Molfino • Break the Good Girl Myth: How to Dismantle Outdated Rules, Unleash Your Power, and Design a More Purposeful Life
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