Reminders for myself

americans treat optionality like a virtue when it’s actually a pathology. ppl optimize for keeping doors open indefinitely, never committing, never locking in, because they conflate flexibility with freedom. but optionality is not freedom, it’s just deferred responsibility. eventually, optionality maximization leads to... See more

Allowing yourself to be fully present with the experience of being seen, however challenging it may seem at first, helps create a meaningful connection with another person. You’re not talking to a collection of atoms—you’re sharing an experience with a consciousness that’s beholding you as you behold it. If you can stay aware of this dynamic while

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The next time you think, “If only—” or “It would be better if—,” instead of simply following that thought, make space to recall that this dissatisfaction, this dukkha, is the first seal. It’s what everyone you know feels all the time. Let yourself be knocked off balance by the realization that in this way, you are deeply connected to everyone... See more

According to Greyson, who edited the Journal of Near-Death Studies from 1982 to 2007, near-death experients say souls come to the universe to learn to love despite conflict because there’s no conflict in the spirit world. Robert Monroe, who popularized the term out-of-body experience, argued that souls enter bodies to accumulate emotional... See more

I love that loop. Write, revise, write, revise. It’s like doing reps in a gym. You can’t expect that 10 pull-ups will add any discernible new muscle. But 30 pull-ups, across three sets, done thrice a week, for a year? Yeah, you’re going to notice the cumulative results of that.

You don’t have to do things others do, or have things they have, at the expense of the deeper things you want. You really don’t. Almost everything is an option. You have full permission to ask yourself what really matters to you—whatever that is—and then optimize for that in all hard tradeoffs of life. You’re going to have to make some sacrifices... See more

In a long-term relationship, if you can’t trust your partner… what are you doing? You’re very possibly wasting your time. Or your standards are so low that you’re willing to tolerate an untrustworthy partner because you’re scared of being alone.