Dating really is a searching quest but its important to always keep in mind that it goes in two directions. You want to find someone and you want to be found. Many people spend most of the time on the first point. Working on the second point may be more fruitful.
The way I think about coaching is very much how I think about parenting, and I think it translates in lots of other places, that your ability to drive change is about the quality of your relationship, not your hierarchy.