Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved | Esther Perel
added by gabriel and · updated 10mo ago
Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved | Esther Perel
I look at it, certainly, inside relationships and how we reconcile these two fundamental needs that often spring from different sources and pull us in different directions. And I also think that love and desire belong, a little bit, to both of these sets of human needs, as well. So they relate, and they also conflict. And herein lies the mys
... See morefrom Esther Perel — The Erotic Is an Antidote to Death by onbeing.org
Jay Matthews added
- Modern relationships are cauldrons of contradictory longings: safety and excitement, grounding and transcendence, the comfort of love and the heat of passion. We want it all, and we want it with one person. Reconciling the domestic and the erotic is a delicate balancing act that we achieve intermittently at best. It requires knowing your partner wh... See more
from Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
Jay Matthews and added
Jay Matthews and added
- We seek intimacy to protect ourselves from feeling alone; and yet creating the distance essential to eroticism means stepping back from the comfort of our partner and feeling more alone.
from Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
Jay Matthews and added
- Eroticism resides in the ambiguous space between anxiety and fascination.
from Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
Jay Matthews added
- intimacy comes with a growing concern for the well-being of the other person, which includes a fear of hurting her. But sexual excitement requires the capacity not to worry, and the pursuit of pleasure demands a degree of selfishness. Some people can’t allow themselves this selfishness, because they’re too absorbed with the well-being of the belove... See more
from Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
Jay Matthews added
You can’t force desire, but you can create an atmosphere where desire might unfurl. You can listen, invite, tease, kiss. You can tempt, compliment, romance, and seduce.
from Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel