Relationships

I meet a lot of people searching for something (career, relationship, etc). And yet, when it’s put in front of them, they won’t pursue it because they fear pain (getting hurt, failure, etc.). So they unconsciously (and expensively) trade self protection for misery.

social theory: the best way to make new friends is to invite people to do an activity that will occupy enough of their brain capacity such that their defenses will be down and they’ll be a more open version of themselves

The question in relationships is not just 'what is true' (an infinite number of things are true, more than we will ever have time to share), it's also 'how do I want to shape the shared reality we are creating together through the truths I choose to focus on & communicate.'

But when they say, “I’m thinking of leaving,” I think, Now hang on a sec. You had me right up to that last bit. Fine: you’ve changed; she’s changed; life has changed. And the kids—well, they’ve disrupted, interrupted, confronted, confounded, and otherwise fundamentally altered everything . All very, very hard. And yes, sometimes it feels impossible

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