Relationships

Instead of asking "Are you the one," ask two questions of each of you. Do I accept my partner despite their shortcomings? Do I commit to nurture them to achieve what is important to them? And likewise, do they accept me and do they commit to me? All you need is four yeses.

The way I think about coaching is very much how I think about parenting, and I think it translates in lots of other places, that your ability to drive change is about the quality of your relationship, not your hierarchy.

I know that if you tell someone “we should keep in touch,” you will not keep in touch. Instead say, “I’m going to schedule a phone call with you in two months to catch up, I’ll send you the invite — if we need to adjust when we get closer to the date, that’s fine.”

“The role of the artist is exactly the same as the role of the lover. If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see.”

—James Baldwin

I know that most people overrate the difficulty of hard conversations, and underrate how good it is to have them. Conflict avoidance slowly rots your whole life, and many people are about eight awkward discussions from a much-improved existence. In other words, go squash all of your beefs. This book is a decent start if you have no idea how to do t... See more

“Do not be absent for too long, then come and ask about how I am, details die with time and stories change.”

―

Mahmoud Darwish

Your milieu is not the same as your sister’s. It is an ever-shifting, individual configuration of information flows. The Twitter feed you have curated is a milieu. Your friend group (which is not the same as the friend groups of the other people in that group!) is a milieu.

It is by changing your milieu that you change yourself.

Relationships are like gazing into clear, bottomless pools of water. Look hard enough and you’ll meet the eyes of your own reflection. Stare into the soul of someone else long enough, and you’ll fall deeper into the abyss of yourself. The more you love the person in front of you, the more you understand yourself.

when it comes to feeling connected — feeling known — it doesn’t matter if you have a thousand followers, or once shared a smoothie with so-and-so microcelebrity, or founded a Web3 collective that we totally all agree is revolutionizing capitalism and not a scam or whatever. What matters is having 1-5 people who are really excited to spend time with... See more