i've always wondered why I leave some exchanges drained and others energized. why I can instantly sense whether someone is a soul friend or not
the best way i've been able to comprehend this is that conversations are the medium by which energy is exchanged. they are composed of:
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Your milieu is not the same as your sister’s. It is an ever-shifting, individual configuration of information flows. The Twitter feed you have curated is a milieu. Your friend group (which is not the same as the friend groups of the other people in that group!) is a milieu.
It is by changing your milieu that you change yourself.
This is good! So elegant. Feels like a theory of everything when it comes to relationships.
Some years back my wife and I got into the habit of asking each other
‘do you want comfort or solutions’ when the other was having a bad time. That one sentence can save us from an argument 9/10 times.
I meet a lot of people searching for something (career, relationship, etc). And yet, when it’s put in front of them, they won’t pursue it because they fear pain (getting hurt, failure, etc.). So they unconsciously (and expensively) trade self protection for misery.