Instead of asking "Are you the one," ask two questions of each of you. Do I accept my partner despite their shortcomings? Do I commit to nurture them to achieve what is important to them? And likewise, do they accept me and do they commit to me? All you need is four yeses.
It's easy to fall into the trap of feeling responsible for other people's emotions, reactions, and inner turmoil. We have an innate desire to be understood and accepted. So when others seem upset with us, judge us, or want us to change, we leap to explain, rationalize, and pacify. But in our quest to please or appease, we often lose ourselves.... See more