recovery

i will destroy old patterns by falling in love with unfamiliarity

This line from David Foster Wallace still haunts me:

“The next suitable person you’re in light conversation with, you stop suddenly in the middle of the conversation and look at the person closely and say, “What’s wrong?” You say it in a concerned way. He’ll say, “What do you mean?” You say, “Something’s wrong. I can tell. What is it?”

And he’ll

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There's an idea I think I picked up from Robert Kegan, the idea of an "evolutionary balance" in your personality structure. Or maybe it was “evolutionary truce.” The idea, as I remember it, is that your personality is made of many different dynamic forces, all pulling and pushing in different ways. For most of your life, those forces find an... See more

When you don’t trust yourself, you’re waiting to catch yourself in a mistake so you can pounce on your own certainty about how unworthy of trust you are. You get petty. You become fixated on your mistakes, and you keep a tally of those mistakes. In contrast, when you notice you’ve been numbing out all week beyond a level you’re comfortable with and

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The fear of making mistakes is a particularly strong dampener on one’s learning. You can’t learn if you can’t make mistakes. I like the idea that mastery is simply a very intimate understanding of all the possible mistakes one could make.