recovery

“All change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.”

— Robin Sharma

God makes you walk in circles until you’re exhausted enough to just be yourself

I work best from a place of zero ego and zero hope. I call this state being “lower than a worm.” A feeling that nothing will ever come of what I’m working on is crucial. A feeling of my smallness in relation to the world. I gotta be below the dirt. I am nothing and nobody. That frees me up. Who cares what a worm thinks, you know?

The three elements I've found most helpful in changing harmful habits and patterned behavior (addictions):

1. First, pause and notice that you're feeling something uncomfortable (most don't realize this) and that you're hoping this pattern will make it go away. Get curious about what that feeling actually is. Be with it.


2. Remind yourself of the

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Have faith: whatever the goal, the universe will provide lessons. Those lessons will either contain the growth to make you strong enough to accomplish the goal, or the wisdom to see a better goal.

The least sexy advice on behaviour change nobody wants to hear?

Lower your expectations.

We have a tendency to set goals in states of either excitement or desperation.

Which leads us to massively overestimate what we can commit to.

Especially in the beginning, prioritise ease over effectiveness.

This line from David Foster Wallace still haunts me:

“The next suitable person you’re in light conversation with, you stop suddenly in the middle of the conversation and look at the person closely and say, “What’s wrong?” You say it in a concerned way. He’ll say, “What do you mean?” You say, “Something’s wrong. I can tell. What is it?”

And he’ll

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