Psychology

The bottom line is not whether a thought is positive or negative, true or false, pleasant or unpleasant, optimistic or pessimistic, but whether it helps you create a fulfilling life.

Notice that you haven’t challenged the thought at all. You haven’t tried to get rid of it, debated whether it’s true or false, or tried to replace it with a positive thought.

‘WHY AM I FEELING LIKE THIS?’ This question sets you up to run through all your problems one by one, seeing if you can pinpoint what caused your feelings.

Grief is a normal emotional reaction to any significant loss, whether a loved one, a job or a limb. There’s no way to avoid or get rid of it—it’s just there. And, once accepted, it will pass in its own time.

The values-focused life will always be more fulfilling than the goal-focused life because you get to appreciate the journey even as you’re working towards your goals.

Changing or getting rid of it is not the goal. The goal is to make peace with it; to let it to be there, even if you don’t like it or want it.

The more pragmatic approach is to ask, ‘Is this thought helpful? Does it help me take action to create the life I want?’

One particular type of thought process is so intimately linked to our emotions that some experts consider it a core component. This is the process of ‘making sense of’ or ‘giving meaning to’ our experience. For example, with sadness you have a sense of loss, and with fear you have a sense of danger.