Psychology
these control strategies have three significant costs: 1. They take up a lot of time and energy and are usually ineffective in the long run. 2. We feel silly, defective, or weak-minded because the thoughts/feelings we’re trying to get rid of keep coming back. 3. Many strategies that decrease unpleasant feelings in the short-term actually lower our
... See moreRuss Harris • The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living
Frankl states that life involves three inevitable kinds of tragedy, the ‘tragic triad’:
He says that it is hard to find meaning in the face of such tragedy, but that if we... See more
- Pain and suffering,
- Guilt, because we are free to make choices in our lives, and are responsible for the impact of those choices, and
- Death, and knowing that our life is transient.
He says that it is hard to find meaning in the face of such tragedy, but that if we... See more
Tragic Optimism - Rewriting The Rules
Tragic optimism
Like a butterfly pinned to a table, however, happiness dies unless it is held lightly.
Russ Harris • The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living
Grief is a normal emotional reaction to any significant loss, whether a loved one, a job or a limb. There’s no way to avoid or get rid of it—it’s just there. And, once accepted, it will pass in its own time.
Russ Harris • The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living
when your primary motivation is the avoidance of unpleasant thoughts and feelings, this drains the joy and vitality from what you are doing.
Russ Harris • The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living
Changing or getting rid of it is not the goal. The goal is to make peace with it; to let it to be there, even if you don’t like it or want it.
Russ Harris • The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living
The values-focused life will always be more fulfilling than the goal-focused life because you get to appreciate the journey even as you’re working towards your goals.
Russ Harris • The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living
Anxiety typically involves worries about what might happen , such as fretting over how you will be perceived at a social event or what might or might not occur there. In contrast, dread is about the certainty of discomfort
Anxiety vs. Dread & This Week's Roundup
One particular type of thought process is so intimately linked to our emotions that some experts consider it a core component. This is the process of ‘making sense of’ or ‘giving meaning to’ our experience. For example, with sadness you have a sense of loss, and with fear you have a sense of danger.