The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living

The more pragmatic approach is to ask, ‘Is this thought helpful? Does it help me take action to create the life I want?’

One particular type of thought process is so intimately linked to our emotions that some experts consider it a core component. This is the process of ‘making sense of’ or ‘giving meaning to’ our experience. For example, with sadness you have a sense of loss, and with fear you have a sense of danger.

Does it help me to be the person I want to be?

whether a thought is true is not that important. Far more important is whether it’s helpful.

The three basic steps of expansion are: observe your feelings, breathe into them, and allow them to come and go.

Changing or getting rid of it is not the goal. The goal is to make peace with it; to let it to be there, even if you don’t like it or want it.

these control strategies have three significant costs: 1. They take up a lot of time and energy and are usually ineffective in the long run. 2. We feel silly, defective, or weak-minded because the thoughts/feelings we’re trying to get rid of keep coming back. 3. Many strategies that decrease unpleasant feelings in the short-term actually lower our

I invite you now to consider a new definition: success in life means living by your values.

thoughts that criticise you, insult you, judge you, put you down or blame you are likely to lower your motivation rather than increase it.

when your primary motivation is the avoidance of unpleasant thoughts and feelings, this drains the joy and vitality from what you are doing.