A sign of emotional intelligence is moving from “You made me feel” to “This is how I reacted.”
Our emotions aren’t caused by other people’s actions. They’re shaped by our interpretations.
Blaming others gives them power over our feelings. Taking responsibility empowers us.
Traumatisation is most usually presented as an unassailable, concrete fact, and this is where I need to be respectful. If someone brings a firm conviction of their religion, politics or the genesis of their suffering, it is not for me to deny it. But it is for me to offer the possibility to open up the conviction in order to transform it from a... See more
After years of floundering, I think I'm finally getting it: You get energy by spending it. The fuel tank metaphor is completely misleading. The body supplies energy to meet demand. The tank *expands* if you use a lot of fuel. In other words, biology is fundamentally antifragile