Perfectionism is not a pathology

Most of my clients, and the parents of gifted children that I address at workshops and seminars, reveal that they are perfectionists. My first task is to help them see their perfectionism as a strength instead of as a weakness. I share with them the strong linkage between perfectionism and giftedness, and explain that it comes with the territory of

perfection is an abstract concept. It takes an abstract mind to grasp its meaning and to cherish a vision that does not exist in the concrete world. Facility with abstraction is the sine qua non of giftedness; this quality differentiates the gifted from others throughout the lifespan.

Perfectionism is the most noteworthy personality characteristic associated with giftedness.

Perfection as we typically think about it should be treated more as a way to focus our attention rather than a final accomplishment that we attain.

Operating under an illness model of care doesn’t just carry powerful implications for the way we conceptualize perfectionism, it impacts the way we conceptualize every aspect of mental health. The slightest pang of sadness, a drizzle of frustration—we register any decline in positive emotion with an assumption of pathology. It’s a cultural tic. The

In Maslow’s prescription for self-actualization, he invites counselors to encourage what others might discourage: perfectionistic zeal.

I believe that our creativity grows like sidewalk weeds out of the cracks between our pathologies—not from the pathologies themselves. But so many people think it’s the other way around. For this reason, you will often meet artists who deliberately cling to their suffering, their addictions, their fears, their demons. They worry that if they ever