P.S
2. Focus on having a good time. The “conversion” shouldn’t be a match, it should be having a fun night out.
David Titarenco • RFC: Let’s Disrupt Dating Apps
less outcome, more process - a new way of dating? is this potentially linked to exploration?
Potential link to timeline decline
while having a romantic partner is not a necessity for everyone, having a community is. “I truly believe that hyper-individualism, which is deeply rooted in capitalism, does so much work to trick us into believing that we should feel like we can do everything in life on our own,” maya says, adding that being in a relationship has made them so much... See more
i-D • Unpacking our generational fear of codependency
we are coming to realise that love isn’t just about romantic love. It’s also platonic love! we need to nurture other relationships
Prioritizing pure feeling, so the idea goes, leads to people choosing bad, unsuitable partners, to acts of desperation and violence, to shirking your duties. That love can also be an incredibly redemptive force meshes uneasily with our sense of individualism, with our Protestant ethics. Controlling it requires an entire normative framework.
Falling in love seems to happen mostly either by a process of osmosis or simple familiarity (and a lot of waiting) or by setting intentions of seriousness and weeding out partners who don’t share them. Sometimes, it happens randomly. Sparks fly. You’re reminded why there’s so much poetry, so much music, so many stories, so many cautionary tales... See more
modern love dictated by reality, rather than cultivated through serendipity
Looking for love sounds more like chasing the high of an extreme sport, trust falling with someone you don’t really know like that. It demands exacting reciprocity, extreme vulnerability. It brings out people’s basest and most primal instincts and a frightening desire to merge into someone else. When the girlies on TikTok talk about dating, they... See more
New Yorkers Are Turning to Dinner Party-Style Restaurants to Make Friends (and Find Dates)
Emma Orlowny.eater.comI’m always thinking about that Raúl Zurita quote that people put on Tumblr: Toda declaración de amor es urgente porque vamos a morir [every declaration of love is urgent because we’re going to die]. In real life, obviously, you cannot declare love to just anyone. You have to go with the flow, wait on other people’s time, accept their ambivalence,... See more
The problem today’s daters face is that the mass adoption of online dating apps has not only eroded incentives to switch from explore to exploit mode, it has made exploration itself boring and dysfunctional.
Shreeda Segan • Dangerous Dating Protocols Web
where’s the fun in dating now? it’s just stressful now